I Don't Bloody Care
by Anette
Summary: Lucius Malfoy has been dragged along to visit some of Narcissa's relatives in London. Unfortunately, one certain Black turns out to be more gorgeous than what should be allowed. SLASH LMSB


I do not own these characters, though I wish I did. The story is rated T for extra precaution, to make sure I do not step on anyone's feet. Please read and review. I am a Scandinavian girl and do not speak English with great fluency, so please bear that in mind!

**I Don't Bloody Care**

They never spoke much at Hogwarts, Lucius and Sirius. Not before the middle of their seventh year. Then they spoke a lot indeed. Lucius could not remember having a single conversation with Black, except for an occasional snarl or sneer in the hall, until he went to visit Narcissa's relatives in London for Christmas in their seventh year. Perfect Black. Clever. Talented. Much like Lucius himself really. A rival. He was good looking too, rather gorgeous, as a matter of fact, the girls were all over him everywhere he went. Not that Lucius was not popular among the girls. Among a fair amount of boys as well, a fact that he tried hard to ignore. It was rather shocking to find Black opening the door for Lucius and his girlfriend at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Narcissa had not bothered to tell him that Sirius Black was her cousin, but perhaps he should have figured, both their last names being "Black" and all. The worst shock, however, was Lucius's own response to the surprise. The moment he saw Black standing in the doorway, Lucius had this bizarre urge to stride over to the boy and run his tongue all over him. The words "My God, have you ever seen anything quite as edible as that boy?" came into his head from out of nowhere, and Lucius suddenly found himself unable to take his eyes off the boy long enough to greet the restofthe family. He came to his senses when Narcissa's very pointed elbow nudged him hard in the ribs. Only then did the Malfoy Smile find its way back to his lips, only then did his soft voice utter exactly the kinds of things everyone wanted to hear from him. Lucius prayed that no one, least of all Sirius, had noticed the odd moment. When the handshaking was done, they all went into the dining room to have some supper, and the large group's movements gave Lucius another chance to eye Sirius, trying his best not to think indecent thoughts while he did so. The main reason he wanted a second look at Sirius was tocheck whether he had been temporarily brain-dead, or if the other boy really did look spectacularly fabulous this evening. To his own horror, he had to admit that when he found Sirius in the crowd, his heart started beating insanely. And he felt annoyed. Why did Black have to choose an occasion like this to look so gorgeous? Surely, his hair had never fallen into his dark, glittering eyes in this breathtaking manner before? His robes had never fitted him so nicely, making his slim, well-trained body (with a godgivenarse) stand out this way, Lucius was sure of that. And his white skin had never looked so soft. Lucius eyes, which seemed to have their own will this evening, found their way back to Sirius's arse. Suddenly it stopped, along with the rest of the body. As did Lucius. "What are you looking at?" a voice hissed. Lucius looked up, his pale cheeks turning a violent red, and met Sirius's suspicious gaze. Being a quick thinker, Lucius cleared his throat, looked straightat Siriusand said in a mock polite tone: "Those robes. What are they made from?" Sirius shrugged irritably. "I don't know. Velvet and silk, I suppose." _"I would have loved to snog you in those robes..." _The voice in Lucius's head was completely out of control. "They are very nice," he managed to say before he hurried after Narcissa.

At the dinner table, the situation got considerably worse. Lucius was seated right opposite Sirius, which meant that he had a hard time participating in the conversation going on. Every time Sirius's deep voice asked him to pass something Lucius went rigid, and he struggled like a hero to keep himself from staring too rudely at the black haired boy. In the middle of the meal, he was presented to a rather shocking fact when Mr. Black said: "So, for how many days will you and Lucius be staying with us?" and Narcissa answered "Three or four, if that is all right with you." Lucius choked. They were staying here for days? How very fabulous of his lovely girlfriend not to inform him of that. Lucius had been under the happy impression that they were only staying for the evening before he would be moving on to Malfoy Manor and Narcissa to her parents, but apparently not. Three or four nights under the same roof as Sirius. The mere thought of sleeping only thin walls away from the delicious boy made Lucius want to throw up. In fact, he did so. With a hurried excuse, he ran to the bathroom where his dinner made close contact with the toilet. Glad that the house elves had already placed his toilet bag in the bathroom, Lucius brushed his teeth and studied himself in the mirror while doing so. There was no doubt at all he looked like hell. His normally aristocratic pale face was rather green and his forehead was covered in cold sweat. "Jesus..." He splashed cold water onto his face. "I've never been this nervous before in my entire life. God, what a mess." With a last, deep breath, he left the bathroom, only to jump back in with a howl of fright as person suddenly stood in front of him. "What the...!" Sirius, of course. Who else? Lucius prayed for a quick and painless death. Sirius stood panting in the hall. "God! What's the matter with you?" Lucius blushed for the hundredth time that evening, but his nausea made sure that the blush was only internal. He looked as pale as usual. " I... didn't know you were out there. You startled me." Sirius gave Lucius a calculating look as if trying to decide whether the blond boy was a raving lunatic or a wimp. "Who were you talking to in there anyway?" he asked, frowning. Oh dear God. Lucius had been speaking aloud in the bathroom. "I wasn't talking. I was humming." Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Right...Well, if you are quite finished in there..." Lucius stepped aside. "Of course. It's all yours," he assured Sirius with a little joyous manoeuvre with his arm. When Sirius was safe inside, Lucius leant against the wall and closed his eyes in horror. '_All yours'_! Could he have picked a more moronic line at all? And what was that terrifying little manoeuvre all about? Like some insane leprechaun. "Honestly!" he breathed out to the deserted hall. At the same time, he heard someone flush a toilet, and realized that Sirius was finished, while Lucius was still standing outside the bathroom, and still talking to himself like a madman. And before he could bring himself to escape, Sirius had opened the bathroom door. He was unfortunate enough to get just as startled as Lucius had been, minutes earlier. He also hit his elbow in the doorframe. "AAAAH! Dammit! What do you think you're doing, standing here still? Seriously, you are one creepy fellow!" Sirius rubbed his sore elbow. "Ah, son of a... aow..." For once, Lucius found himself lost for words. "I...I..." Sirius seemed to have calmed down a bit. "Did you forget something in there, or what?" Lucius looked around wildly. His eyes caught the eerie decoration in the stairway. " I was just wondering...Why do you have stuffed house elves on display?" Sirius moved past Lucius and down the stairs. "Because my family is a bunch of lunatics. You do not know what you are getting yourself into by dating my cousin. I can't wait to get away from these people, this house." Sirius stopped for a moment and cast a glance at the other boy. "Come now, _cousin Malfoy_, the dessert will be ready by now." Lucius followed him slowly; half shocked by Sirius's confession, half-shocked by thefact that he was going to have to force down more food, while sitting face to face with Sirius for another half hour.

After the desert, which Lucius managed to keep down somehow, the group of people moved into the living room for a drink, and they were all served Fire Whiskey on the rocks. Lucius poured down a double gladly. Sirius sat in the shadows by himself, as separated from the rest of the group as he could possibly be without actually leaving the room. He stirred his drink thoughtfully. The thoughtful look on the dark-haired boy's face had an unfortunate effect on Lucius, who became completely engrossed in him. The party began to break up to go to bed, and Mr. Black said in a subordinate clause: "Lucius, you will be sharing room with Sirius." Oh Holy Jesus. Sirius opened his mouth as if to protest, but his father stopped him with a hateful glare, and left the living room, which was now empty except for the two boys. They stood irresolute in the middle of the room until Sirius broke the silence. "Well...Come on then." They went upstairs without speaking, and Lucius went into the bathroom. He brushed his teeth furiously. This was simply too much. Sharing room with Sirius Black. A Gryffindor. An enemy, for God's sake. Who just happened to be dead sexy. Lucius sighed and went back into the hall, just to realize that he had forgotten to ask which room was Sirius's. "Christ." He could not just start opening all the doors and check, so he did the next worst thing; called out for his new roommate. "Er...Sirius?" No answer. "Sirius!" he tried again. A door opened at the end of the hall and Sirius poked his head out. "What?" Lucius felt like an idiot. "I just didn't know where your room was..." Sirius snorted. "Well, now you know." He disappeared back into the room, and Lucius followed, but froze in the doorway. Sirius was getting undressed. That bastard. Lucius clenched his jaw and forced himself to avoid another embarrassing situation by stepping into the room instead of standing and staring at a half naked boy, and started tugging reluctantly at his own robes. Sirius was already in his boxers and was folding his clothes. "Close the door, will you?" he said, his back against the other boy. Lucius did so and hung his robes over a chair. When he looked up, Sirius wasstanding a few feet away, watching him closely. Lucius straightened his back. "What?" The shadow of a smile stirred Sirius's sullen face for a split second. "I'm just having a hard time believing what I'm witnessing. Lucius Malfoy is in my bedroom getting undressed. I never thought I'd live to see the day..." Lucius concealed a smile. "Well, let's just make the best out of a worst case scenario, shall we?" Sirius shrugged. "Yeah...right. Turn off the lights before you go to bed." Lucius did so, relieved that Sirius could no longer observe him half naked, and lay down on the bed that had been conjured up next to Sirius's. The two boys lay in silence for several minutes before Sirius spoke. "Can I ask you something?" Lucius swallowed nervously. "Sure." "Why are all Slytherins such insufferable gits? Honestly, do you take secret classes down there in the dungeons called "How To Be Nasty" or "Discover Your Malice" or something?"

"Believe it or not, not all Slytherins are nasty and malicious."

"You are."

Lucius smiled. "Yes…Yes, I suppose I am."

"But why are you so determined not to be nice to anyone? Do you realize that you won't find a single soul outside Slytherin at Hogwarts who has heard a kind word from you?" Lucius blinked. "Yes. I do know. But do _you _realize that no one has ever given me a reason to be kind?" Sirius had apparently not thought of this, judging by the silence from his bed. He chose to change the subject quickly "How did you end up with Narcissa, really? I mean, you are way too smart for that bloody girl. Of all the girls you could choose from, you went for the most unpleasant and evil one. Why? It isn't hard to see that you do not care for each other." Lucius frowned. Was it not obvious? "Does the word 'pure-blood' tell you anything?" "Oh, come on, Malfoy..." "You, of all people, should understand this. You're a Black after all. Purebloods marry purebloods regardless of feelings. I am a Malfoy. My path was chosen before I was even born. As was yours, I suppose?" A short, mirthless laugh sounded from the other boy. "That's where you're wrong, Malfoy. I left my "chosen path" a long time go. As far as my family is concerned, I do not exist. I am a disgrace to the name of Black. The only thing they worry about when it comes to Sirius Black is whether he will or will not fight them in the battle. If I die a hero because I helped destroying the Dark side, they would be devastated. Therefore, I hope I do. I wish them as much pain as possible. I hate my family. I hate the lot of them so deeply it hurts." Lucius found it hard to give any kind of response to this and kept silent. Sirius went on. "I suppose you do as Malfoys most. You play along with no consideration for others, as long as your actions benefit you." Lucius's face burned. He felt the familiar hatred towards Black surge through him again. "If there is anything I cannot stand, it's people like you, Malfoy, who have this sick hunger for power. People like you do not dare think for yourselves, you just follow others and make them do the dirty work. Afterwards, you steal pieces of their glory. How incredibly weak you are, Malfoy..." Lucius Malfoy had had enough. "Oh, what the hell do you know, Black? What the hell do you really know about me? Nothing. Not a bloody thing. And yet you have the nerves to go on and on about me and my..."weaknesses". You do not know what I'm going through, how my childhood has been, what kind of pressure and influence I've been under from the day I was born! So don't you dare speak to me as if you know me, because you don't. You think you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself because your family are dark wizards and you don't want to be one. Others are in that same situation, Black, and some of us don't have the choice to walk away." Lucius suddenly realized that he was out of bed, standing in front of Sirius and gesticulating wildly. He could see the outline of Sirius, who had sat up in bed as if he was afraid that the other boy would attack him. Lucius took a deep breath andwent back to bed. He turned away from Sirius and closed his eyes, determined to sleep. "Nothing is what it seems, Black. Remember that." His roommate said nothing. They both lay awake for another hour, but neither of them spoke.

When Lucius woke up the next morning, Sirius's bed was empty. He could hear voices from downstairs indicating that breakfast had already started. Loving Narcissa had not bothered to wake him up. What a shock. Then he suddenly remembered a dream he had had that night, and clenched his teeth in frustration. It had included himself and Sirius doing things Lucius would never mention to a living soul. What the hell was going on? He was not gay! Or maybe a little... Whenever he laid eyes on that slender body...No! He really wasn't! Oh, crap... Lucius got out of bed, trying not to think of Sirius and of what people would say if they knew what was going on in his mind. He had just pulled down his boxers when the door suddenly burst open.  
"Oh!"  
Lucius whirled around, noticed Sirius standing in the doorway, and flung himself down on the floor to take cover behind the bed. _Fuck! _"Malfoy, I'm so sorry! You have no idea how terribly sorry I am!" Lucius swore madly under his breath. He could see Sirius's feet on the floor on the other side of the bed. "I was just going to wake you up and tell you that breakfast was ready." Sirius's voice shook slightly. What an unusual observation. "Ever heard of knocking?" Lucius snarled. "Come on, I said I was sorry. It's not like I wanted to walk in on you while you were...naked and all. And it's not like I have never seen naked boys before. I am one myself, mind." Lucius buried his face in his hands. "I know that. It's okay, you just caught me a bit off guard. Now, would you please leave while I get dressed?" _"And kill myself?" _He added silently. "Of course." Sirius left the room. Lucius tried to push his head through the floor, but gave up and got dressed. His face went redder and redder as he went downstairs, and when he entered the dining room, he discovered that the only seat that was free was the one next to Sirius. How convenient. Even closer to him than he had been the day before. Sirius did not look up as Lucius took his seat, but the first thing that happened was that they both reached for the butter, resulting in their hands meeting in mid air. They jerked their hands away as if they had been burned, whereas Sirius knocked his glass over and Lucius hit Mrs. Black in the stomach with his elbow. Lucius was very close to crying at the mayhem that followed, and was more than happy to follow him when Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room, evidently to clean off the milk that had been spilt on the both of them. They stumbled into the bathroom and locked the door behind them. Sirius grabbed a towel and started drying the front of Lucius's robes. Lucius held his breath, watching the other boy. "_I can't take it anymore! Just look at him, standing in front of me, running a towel all over my body. Oh, and now he's straightening up, staring into my eyes. He is so close I could touch him with my tongue..." _Sirius had a strange look in his eyes, a look of wonder and confusion, mixed with something that reminded Lucius dreadfully of disgust. Then again...There was something else._"Funny how close two people can get without actually touching"_ Lucius had a feeling he could easily drown in the depths of those black pools in front of him. Sirius leant even closer. "Lucius..." he whispered hoarsly._"What will everyone think?"_ asked a small voice inside Lucius's head. But as Sirius's lips met his own, as Lucius drew a deep breath and pulled Sirius close, he killed that little voice with his own: _"I don't bloody care." _Nor did he care that the doorknob was boring into his back, or that the rather small bathroom was getting quite hot. All he cared about was the person leaning against him, the same person who was tearing at his robes, kissing his neck and pulling him down onto the floor. As they landed on top of each other, Sirius suddenly stopped and looked closely at Lucius. Lucius moaned disappointedly. "Sirius, don't stop for God's sake!" Sirius laughed. "I'm truly sorry. It's just... I don't understand how this happened." Lucius smiled. "Let's ponder about that one later shall we?" he said quickly, pulling Sirius down into a bruising kiss. It was then that they heard a sharp knock on the bathroom door. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Sirius fumed. _Damn it! _Whatsort of imbecile would knock on a locked bathroom door? The two boys scrambled to their feet, straightening their clothes hastily. Sirius opened the door just enough to see who was standing on the other side. Narcissa. She never went looking for Lucius. What made her do it now? Her smooth but sour face was visible through the small opening. "What the hell are you two doing in there? You've been away for ten minutes. This does not make you look good to my relatives Lucius." Lucius strode past Sirius, kicking the door wide open. "Why in God's name would you suddenly care Narcissa? You've never cared before!" Narcissa looked even grumpier than usual. "Aren't you glad I care enough to come look for you?" Sirius scowled at his cousin. "Oh, I can barely contain my glee," said Lucius through clenched teeth, walking past his girlfriend and down the stairs. Sirius did not follow.

For the rest of the day Lucius tried to talk to Sirius, but somehow, they never managed to get away from the others. Lucius had a feeling Sirius stayed away from him on purpose, and that was probably the reason why he felt like throwing up again. Whenever their eyes met across the room, Sirius got a harsh look on his face and looked away. Lucius had always been one of those laughing his head off at stupid clichés in books, but now he really felt as though his heart was shattered. In the evening, Lucius was the first one to go to bed, and he lay awake, waiting for Sirius. Finally, at two o'clock in the morning, his tall dark silhouette emerged in the doorway. Lucius grabbed his wand as the dark boy closed the door behind him "_Lumos!_" Sirius started, and stopped dead at the foot of the other boy's bed. "I'm going to sleep up in the attic tonight." Lucius scrambled out of his bed. "What? Why?" Sirius frowned. "Why? You know damn well why, Lucius. Now go back to sleep." He started gathering his pillows and his blankets. Lucius strode over to him and grabbed him by the wrist. "I have no sleep to go back to. Now sit the fuck down. I want to talk to you." Sirius glared at him for a moment, but sat down reluctantly. "As you have gathered, of course, I wish to speak to you about what happened this morning. You can't just ignore it, Sirius. There is something between us that neither of us can explain. What I need to know is what will happen to us now? What shall we do?" Sirius looked up at the boy standing over him. "First of all, there is no "us" _Malfoy._" Lucius felt as if he had been punched in the stomach. So, they were back on last name terms. "And second of all, there is nothing between us. It was simply a moment of blind passion. Sick passion. I don'tbelieve you, throwing yourself at me like that." Sirius turned his head away. Lucius sat down on his own bed quietly. Sirius's last line had made Lucius return to his usual Malfoy-coolness "Now, now, _Black_. You know just as well as I do that if anyone is to be blamed for this...heinous crime, it is you, not I. I will not deny the fact that I was a part of the act, but you started it. "Sirius moaned andrested his forehead in his hands. "God, stop it...I don't want to talk about this. Ever." He rose and strode out of the room, leaving Lucius sitting on his bed staring at a spot on the opposite wall. Sirius failed to notice how strangely the other boy's silvery eyes glittered. Neither did he hear the soft _"Bastard"_ whispered out to the room.

Lucius did not exactly jump for joy as he learned that the next day was going to be spent with the entire family of Black, Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley. He had not spoken to Sirius after the night before, and had spent the entire morning with Narcissa, who evidently did not see the point in spending time with her boyfriend. They travelled by Floo Powder, and arrived in The Leaky Cauldron at noon. Lucius had planned to go shopping with Narcissa, but she made it quite clear that she wanted him far away from herself. So Mr. Black suggested that Sirius and Lucius should go together. Sirius looked livid,but Lucius ignored him completely. The others disappeared in every direction until the two boys were standing alone outside Flourish and Blotts. Sirius made a gesture towards the old bookshop. "Shall we go in then?" Lucius snorted derisively. "You may go wherever you wish, Black, but I will never find anything suitable here in Diagon Alley. Have fun in this nice shop, while I go looking for presents in Knockturn Alley." He turned on his heel and strode down the narrow street, turning left down a dingy alley farther down. He did not have to glance over his shoulder to know that Sirius was right behind him. "So all of a sudden you are a true Malfoy then? What happened to the things you said to me that first night?" Lucius stopped and turned to face the other boy. "I am a true Malfoy, I always will be. And Malfoys have the gift of manipulating people into believing anything that might fall out of our mouths. I made you tell me that you hated your family, a highly useful piece of information I daresay. I lied to you. Did you not realize?" Sirius looked dumbstruck. Lucius's lips curled into a grin, and he turned to walk further down the dark and narrow street, past scruffy looking wizards and witches, every one of them looking as if they were capable of anything. The young, blond-haired boy entered a dusty shop midway down Knockturn Alley, closely followed by the black-haired one.

The bell that was supposed to notify the shopkeeper that customers had entered had stopped working. The shop had a most peculiar smell, a poisonous smell that always made Lucius feel like running out back into the street, but he forced himself to examine the different things on display. Sirius stood just inside the door observing Lucius, and Lucius tried to ignore him. After a couple of minutes however, Sirius's glare became a bit too intense, and Lucius straightened up to face him. "What?" Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "You know what sort of shop this is. You know I don't want to be in here." Lucius turned to continue examining some small bottles of poison. "Well, I'm hardly making you stay, am I? Leave if you want to." Sirius said nothing, but he moved slowly away from the door and over to a shelf full of devises for torture. A man appeared behind the counter, smiling slyly. "Master Malfoy, how nice to see you. I have not seen you here in a while, but your father was in here yesterday. Came to buy something for a..."project" as he called it himself." Lucius shuddered involuntarily. He did not need to know what sort of business his father was involved in. "You've brought a friend I see?" Mr. Borgin turned towards Sirius, ready to suck upto him too, but the smile faded from his face as he realized whom the black-haired boy was. "Ah. Young Sirius Black. I spoke to your father a few days ago, boy. He told me a few things about you. Yes, indeed he did. In fact, I'm not sure whether I should call you by the name of "Black" anymore, or what do you think?" Lucius cast a sidelong glance at Sirius, whose face worean indifferent expression. "You may call me by whichever name you like, Mr. Borgin, but I am afraid the name of Black will always follow me. " Mr. Borgin's eyes narrowed malevolently. "You're a disgrace to your honourable family, boy." Sirius shrugged. "That depends on how you see it." The shopkeeper moved slowly around the counter and stopped inches away from Sirius. "I do not want boys like you in my shop. Get out, and never return." Sirius's eyes went from Borgin to Lucius, before he strode out, slamming the door behind him. Mr. Borgin turned towards Lucius, putting a hand on his shoulder. His oily smile was back. "So. Master Malfoy. Now that we have rid ourselves of some garbage, what can I do for you? Come to buy Christmas presents perhaps?" Lucius shrugged the man's hand off. "You can forget making any profit with my help today, Borgin. I did not appreciate the fact that you treated someone I care a great deal about in such a spiteful manner." Mr. Borgin's small eyes widened. "How dare you! You know just as well as I do that Sirius Black is a disgrace to pure-blooded wizards in more ways than one. I will make sure your father hears about the alliance between his son and young Black, and I would really like to know what he will do to you when you come home for Christmas." Lucius smiled. "Yes, do tell my father that I've befriended a Black, Borgin, I think it a splendid idea. Good day to you." He left the shop and its owner, his heart pounding angrily. Back outside, his silvery eyes swept up and down the alley. He noticed the boy's black mane at the top of the alley, about to step onto Diagon Alley, and ran the length of the dodgy street to catch up with him. "Sirius!"He did not stop. "Sirius! Wait!" Sirius waited, but did not turn around. Lucius came to a halt next to him, panting. Sirius did not look at him. "Done with our shopping already, are we?" Lucius tried hard to catch his breath. "I did not buy anything. I was rude to Mr. Borgin and stormed out of there. God, my father will kill me when he is told." The black-eyed boy turned his head slightly towards the panting Lucius. "What did you say to him?" Lucius leant against a wall to try and stop the street from spinning. He was not exactly in top shape, he had to admit to himself. Hadn't been the most eager player in the quidditchfield lately. "Well, I told him I was not interested in buying goods from him after he had been so awful to someone I care about---" Lucius fell silent. He observed Sirius out of the corner of his eye biting his lip. He had not meant for the last part of the sentence to slip out. That would surely bring a hurting comment out of the other boy. Sirius finally turned to look at the elegant boy who now stood with his long blond hair on end next to him. "You actually said that?" Lucius shifted nervously from one foot to the other. "Er...Yes. Or if I was to quote myself correctly I believe I said 'someone I care _a great deal_ about'. See if you can make the situation worse after learning that." Lucius looked up at the slightly taller boy. He _was_ a true Malfoy in some ways; he did not bow his head, even if he was facing a rather hurting insult. Sirius suddenly grabbed him by the front of his robes, whereupon Lucius pinched his eyes together preparing for a blow. But none came. He opened his eyes again carefully. Sirius was smiling. "When the hell did you get so incredibly cute?" Lucius blinked. "Huh?" Sirius leant closer. "I suddenly realized I adore you, Lucius, you stupid bastard." Lucius looked around at the people running back and forth in Diagon Ally. "Sirius- thereare a lot of people here, what will they think?" But Sirius pulled Lucius into a tender kiss that seemed to make the busy street disappear. When they pulled apart, he laughed softly at the other boy. "You know what? I don't bloody care."

8


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